Everybody Wants to See the Eyeball Kid

"Now who," you ask "is the, um, owner of that lovely eyeball, and pray tell me, how did she get such a precise yet vivid application of eyeliner?" Ok, you can't really see, because the picture is taken with a cameraphone, but I personally testify to both the vividity and the precision of said eyeliner line, and will put my whole anonymous reputation behind that claim. Anyways, silly cutlets, that's your Violet's eyeball, and the look was achieved with MAC's Femme Noir eyeshadow (which if you have greenish eyes like I do, should basically be in your Go Bag) and, er, spit. I mean, I know you all have used it before, at least to keep your eyebrows in place or whatevs, but had its effectiveness been SCIENTIFICALLY CONFIRMED up until now? I think not. (Thanks for the, er, tip, Erika.)

Yup. Spit won the Home Solvents For Eyeshadow Faceoff 2005. Vaseline and glycerin and that Lacrilube thing didn't stay on, saline solution and Visine did ok, but didn't retain enough pigment, but spit... You know, I feel somehow vindicated, because my whole motivation was that I was suspicious of the usefulness/awesomeness of a certain product, and it turns out that the CHEAPEST THING YOU COULD POSSIBLY IMAGINE works the best. Everyone has spit! You don't even need a bathroom cabinet! You don't even need a pocket to carry it in! You could be naked in the woods and STILL use spit as an eyeshadow-to-eyeliner solvent. You'd still need a decent brush - I like actual paintbrushes, but that's an affectation - and presumably if you were naked in the woods, you'd have concerns beyond eyeliner, like, oh, will this bear eat me, or hey, what about these berries, you think they're poisonous? Either way. I don't judge.

You know what, though, if you are not like, total ghetto trash like me and don't feel like rubbing spit on your face, I don't begrudge you your Paula Dorf Transformer.

And meanwhile, I am OVER my Clarins concealer. Any suggestions for a versatile (spots and undereye), heavily pigmented concealer for the blue-undertoned folks of the world? If Safari is being stupid and not letting you leave comments, you can always email eyeshadowgovernment AT gmail DOT com.

I'm away this weekend on what is seeming like an increasingly ill-concieved voyage, but I will see you when I get back.