Black and Blue

Archie comics freak me out, today as in my youth. I don't know what it is, just a profound sense that there is something NOT RIGHT with these poor kids. Probably subtexts about the cold war that I'm not catching on to or the like.

That said, Veronica was, is and always will be an unmitigated fox. There's no contest between her and Betty. NO CONTEST. And part of Veronica's allure is her darker-than-dark hair. And how did it get so dark? BLUE HIGHLIGHTS. Take a look. You'd think you'd use white to create the illusion of shine, but no, unfailingly, it's a royal blue.

Now, you'd look like a jackass if you tried that on your REAL hair, but we can exploit this principle on our eyelashes.

First, curl the fuck out of them. Of course, you know to ALWAYS do this, no matter what mascara you're putting on. Right? RIGHT???

Then, one coat of a good lengthening black mascara (L'Extreme by Lancome is growing on me, I also like Clinique's Naturally Glossy Mascara for this purpose. (And there are others!) ONLY ONE COAT. RESIST THE TEMPTATION.

Wait a little bit. Let it dry. Put your lipstick on, or feed the dog or take away the very expensive Wolford stockings it has managed to find and chew on, the stupid animal.

Run the brush of a very bright blue mascara that's not too thick lightly over your lashes - I really like Maybelline Great Lash in Royal Blue, and I am not a rider on the Maybelline Great Lash Bandwagon, nomally (I think it's my problem, I get impatient and blink before it dries and it takes SO LONG to dry). But in this instance it's just the right shade of blue, and liquid enough, and once you've delicately applied a layer of it, you will have the darkest-looking most dramatic lashes you could possibly ever imagine.