Jobs for people who hate jobs.

Hello cats and kittens and Sarah,

Underemployed Violet here! I quit my job to take another job which pays less than the first job, but gives me more time. To blog about makeup! Hahahaha, not! I also have hopes that it will not engage every single one of my neuroses simultaneously and unrelentingly! But then it wouldn't be a job, would it! It would be sleep!

!!!!!!!!!!!!

Baby Suri Revealed! (Almost)

Bitch of a teaser today at Us magazine.

Either way, Michael Kors' beauty sprint continues with a glossy leg shine-a-thon.
Because I reveal my legs to the world a little more often than baby Suri does, I unaminously endorse Michael Kors' leg shine both for myself and shut-ins like Katie Holmes.

Suit Up and Down

I don't know if steamy summer makes you nostalgic for John Steinbeck,
or if that's just my complex. Either way, I found this Steinbeck swimsuit!,
titled "Salinas." This classy number can be purchased at Bliss world,
which deserves credit for promoting Salinas all summer long.

But let's say you didn't read lots of Steinbeck books and instead
this blog is making you illiterate, that's okay too. Muffin, this swimsuit is like reading by osmosis.

Awesome Rock n' Roll New and Old Products to Love

Or should we say looooooove? It's hotter than Hades in New York,
and in such trying times, Barney's is totally our savior.


T. Leclerc Compact Foundation ($47.50, Barney's, eluxury.com)
Personal Number: #2

It's a good thing I submitted to the hefty price tag for
T. Leclerc, shade #2 T. Leclerc Compact Foundation , because it perfectly matches my skintone. If you get one for yourself, you can know what it feels like to be me--superdiva-licious and perfect in every way. And bienvenue to my world, totally broke.


Whole Foods Mint Shampoo ($1.99, Whole Foods)

Wash your hair with the Whole Foods 365 brand Mint shampoo, and even throw it on your face. Chemical-free and paraben-free, this organic shampoo smells as delicious as a cup of fresh mint tea with a teaspoon of honey. It makes me feel like I'm in Marrakech without any of that jetlag. Therefore, moi pronounces it, "lovely."

Over here, Charlotte and I often headbutt each other for fun. Zizou can join us any time he likes.

Eyeshadow Eye-con: Pirates of the Carribbean

Since this is a blog about makeup, it only makes sense to devote a little time to the person unto which I slather my face with makeup for each day. This person being, namely, Johnny Depp.

Spuming water and Johnny Depp-crazy, I went to see this last night and it was worth every last penny I slaved to earn while working for some godforsaken wench (thank god, no cameo for her in this movie). Otherwise, the Pirates of the Carribbean is above and beyond the most spume-worthy movie of the summer. What with all the beards, powdered wigs and sea chanteys, you almost forget that Keira Knightley is so charming, it's unfair, and Johnny Depp is married. Arrrgh!

But how do you achieve that lovely Keira Knightley tan all over your body?

Without a seafarring life, we recommend Model Co's Airbrush Tan in a Can. As efficient as its name, Model Co, which we admire for its close counterpart Models Inc.. (an epic yet short-lived Aaron Spelling series about beautiful women, RIP), is really, really easy to apply. I know this because I sprayed it on myself in the back of Sephora. And the color is believable.

And what kohl is in store to enhance your eyes in such a way that Johnny Depp might take notice of yer wenchly visage?

1. Awesomely dangerous kohl: Guerlain Paris loose kohl powder in a golden vial.

2. The fool-proof kohl: Tout Beau - Sharp Eyes Kohl Pen & Concealer It comes with concealer for under-eyes and black booboos.

You can repay us for this news service by delivering Johnny Depp (now).

I don't need makeup right now, the natural glow I get from France (with help from my OTHER husband, Zinedine Zidane) winning against Brazil makes me so beautiful you can't imagine.

Um, and funny story, ACTUALLY, I spent the afternoon at a wedding between a French gal and a Brazilian fella, and the game was going on and it was pretty tense, and then France won, and during her toast, the mother-of-the-bride was like, HAHAHA WE WON HAHAHA and that was pretty much the toast. I bet the kids getting married were really psyched that was how things worked out.