Monday, July 20, 2009

My Face Is as Sweet as Honey

But you already knew that.

Today, it is literally as sweet as honey though. In a moment of desperation, it seemed like a good idea. So now as I type this message to you, my face, nose and forehead are covered with a healthy dollop of honey, sticky as the La Brea tar pits and sweet as can be.

I have been reading that honey poultices can cure, uh, deadly staph infections and severe burns and wounds due to its powerful antimicrobial agents. Will it cure minor skin unevenness and, even, a few spots?

I don't know. Between the warm weather and my penchant for applying three inches of foundation within my life, my skin gets all verklempt (yiddish definition: overcome with emotion). Wearing this much foundation in the summer is like putting an anorak on a terrier in July. My skin is yelping. My natural tendency to consume more caffeine than solid food doesn't make the case any better -- and let's not even mention, air conditioning, stress, difficult siblings, standing in lines, the recession, the world. Under all this stress, the epidermis crieth out.

Feed me honey, it said today. So I have. What kind of honey though? Well, there are all types, but I had a bear-shaped bottle of Trader Joe's clover blossom honey.

3:02 pm: Let me wash this off now, and I'll tell you what happens....

3:07 pm: Well, that was WEIRD. My face seemed to eat half the honey. After leaving straight honey on la skin for about 20 minutes, when I went to wash it off, most of the honey had been absorbed. At least, that's what I think happened. I know I have a thing for desserts, but apparently my skin cells have a sweet tooth too.

There wasn't much honey to splash off my face. I used water first, but my face still felt sticky. So I washed my face two times with Body Time Unscented Cream cleanser, a total fave. Then, I dried it with a towel.

Overall, my skin looked redder than before, but that's a natural reaction to any antibacterial product. It also felt smoother. We'll see what it looks like in an hour or two.

Don't judge. Is this the strangest thing I've done lately? Well, yes.

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